When I was 12 I realized I was gay. I only liked guys. I was always looking at guys, not girls. There was a lot of unanswered love in my life. But a year ago I found my love. His name was Anton. He was the only person I loved sincerely. So did he. Yet our love was not destined to last forever.
Anton was gay, but hid it from people around him. In the beginning I was playing his game because I loved him so much. I always thought a person should be open, first of all open to himself. And he should not conceal his nature. As a result we broke up a year after our first meeting.
Last time I saw him was on May 9th. We met accidentally during the Victory Day parade.* He was handsome as usual. He was with his new boyfriend. We chatted for a bit. In the end I asked for a lighter. It was pink. The pink lighter I had bought him once.
He was in a hurry. So he did not wait for me to light my cigarette, instead he said, “Take it! You can give it back later!”
The same day I was attacked because of my sexual orientation. And two days later I left Russia in order to save my life.
I have not seen Anton since.